Nemo Nisi Mors

2011-08-29T08:24:00.000-07:00

I'm on Tumblr now.. And its locked. Can't be bothered to update till I have pictures to share with y'all.

Till later.

2011-08-21T06:43:00.000-07:00

So..... I have decided to blog because my account is infected with virus and I'm unable to use Facebook. And for no rhyme or reason, my account decided to send every one online saying 'Hi', 'Wanna laugh? ;))' WHAT THE FUCK. So everyone began to reply back and before I knew it.. Pfft, my account is banned and I'm blocked from Facebook. And I decided to do away from Facebook because it only brings me distractions and frustrations more than joy to me. This is a tough decision to make because I'm a social butterfly and I do need to communicate with all my friends but oh well.. since the fact that I'm blocked. It also serves as a good reason for me to start preparing for the last phase of my examinations.

Speaking of which, this time I'm really contented with my results.. OK probably except English I guess? Pretty disappointing because I was hoping to achieve at least a 70. But damn, I was 5marks away from being so. The EOY exams are in a month's time. Time to start mugging everyday - I guess its not a bad thing after all, because you get to taste the fruits of labor after a month's of hard work.

And..on a even happier note, I did my X-ray and dental impressions last week. Braces appointment is booked. Of course, I'd have to bid goodbye to all nougats, snickers and all the yummy good food on the 28th of Oct. A price to pay for being vain. Oh well....

Till later, when I have pictures to share.
X

Fuck school,

2011-06-13T09:59:00.000-07:00

The title says it all. School's starting in a day and I can't get to sleep. My biological clock's screwed and I wonder how I'm going to fix it. The thought of it kills me. So... A month of my holidays has passed and yeah I'm fucked as it is. penniless, no homework completed, nothing done. Oh well, I'm glad that I'm a step closer to get my own MBP... Hmm.

Speaking of the holidays, this has ought to be the best holiday ever. All I did during the holiday was to eat, sleep, shop and the whole cycle repeats for a month. As much as I do not want school to start, I need to get my education over and done with. I am not looking forward to the homework, teachers. Just the company, of some good ol' mates will suffice.

I feel fuckin' guilty and uneasy. I have uncompleted homework which I suppose most of my friends completed all of them during the first week of holidays and I did NOT even study. Man, I really need to pull up my socks and work hard for the upcoming exams.. I'll do you proud, Mom.

oh yes. Mom has booked a dental appointment for my braces on the 5th of July... mm can't wait to get the consultation, spacers, extraction all over and done with! I'm soooooooooo excited. Meanwhile, I need to start saving pronto! Although the fact that holidays are enjoyable enough, my bank is getting dry due to the expenses incurred during the month of June.. Only June holidays. DAMN!

A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out

2011-05-29T09:36:00.000-07:00

You know we humans tend to change throughout the years, be it for the better, or for the worst. We'll definitely have fake and artificial friends revolving around us. Our friends play an important part in our daily life. They influence us in various ways, they shape our character for the better, stay together when you are down in the mouth, cheer you up whenever you're upset, etc.

I thank God, for this 3 bestfriends of mine, who stayed through thick and thins, despite many disputes amongst us. Unfortunately, due to my limited vocabulary, I'll let pictures do the talking instead.

You see all the bullshit we went through? We're now perfectly fine, we're alright. I really thank God for all of your existence, Gina, Zongxian and Xinyi. I love you and we'll remain the best of friends no matter what happens.

X

2011-05-12T07:51:00.000-07:00

I never once liked the idea of solemncy. I like to have my own thoughts to myself. Contradicting as it may seem to be, having quiet time spent alone might not be a bad idea. Truth to be told, it'll be a good time to differentiate who's a real friend, and who's being a fake one all this while. When you need someone and everyone is nowhere to be found except that certain someone for whatever reason, you know your best. Go on, get busy.

My life is fraught with too much of fake friends, I AM grateful to have a best friend who will be there for me, always. Well, A best friend beats better than having like 10 fake friends? It is always interesting how fake friends saying they will be there to catch you fall, and appear nowhere to be found when you need them the most. Nah, fake friends are redundant. I'd be probably living way off better than having this bunch of fake friends. Anyway, School has been progressing in a rapid manner, I am coping relatively well..I hope. In probably like a week's time, it'd be results of all subjects, I don't wanna be the top neither the bottom, I just want to live up to the expectations of people have for me.

Till then,
X

We're on thin ice.

2011-03-06T11:08:00.000-08:00

A perfect Starbucks study date.

Life has been going fine for me, in all perspectives. Be it in any areas, I'm pretty contented with the way I am now. It's 15minutes to 3 in the morn', approximately 3 and a half hours to school and I have yet to be asleep. (I slept at around 7 after having my dinner 'cuz I wasn't really feeling well) And yup, I am having ice-cream at this unearthly hour. Please.kill.my.appetite

I've gotta stop procrastinating.. Sigh. Supposedly, I've gotta book a appointment with the dermatologist for my face complexion, It's been deteriorating since last December. Yeah back to December. Lol. Also, with the orthodontist. Mom has given the green light for the following, but I can't seem to find time in my hectic schedule everyday. I'm either sleeping or "studying". I woke up initially to get my number lines done, but I thought it'd better to leave it all tomorrow (Procrastination, yet again.) Fuck this shit.

Ah well.. Life can't be much of a bed of roses till death takes a fancy on you. I can't wait for the March holidays to arrive.

Till then,

X

Doubts

2011-01-27T06:56:00.000-08:00

Everybody has a balance of control in their lives. So do I. I keep my balance with a busy, closely-knitted social calendar, school work. I feel so vulnerable, dependent, so fragile in that one split second I lose my head: doesn't matter if it's my temper, my resolutions to quit, or that my mind/heart took control of rationality.

Mind-fucked. Engulfed with fear of not being able to succeed in life and get my 12points to get into SP's Accountancy and Finance. I know miracles don't come easy, you reap what you sow isn't it? It irks me to be despised, looked down on and be judged by cover. I need time, so save your sarcasm.

We just need to remember to keep breathing. Because it will all pass, because time will destroy all of us. So tell me, how does one enjoy doing things solitary?

I need a satisfying break.

Till then.

Utterly pissed

2011-01-21T10:06:00.000-08:00

I have been busy with school work recently, especially E-Maths.. Considering the fact that I'll have to deal with Algebra the next 2-3years down the road, I suppose it won't take long for me to love Algebra --- Well, I hope I do.

It's only the first month of school, and school's been a bitch. Being way too stressed.. My teacher taught me how did the Algebra thingy go and ya-da ya-da, I understood him and managed to complete a question in class. But when I get back to finish my homework, my mind's filled with question marks.

On the other hand, I'm on the verge of blowing my top. People in my class needs to know when is the right time to open their bloody mouth and talk, and when not to. Get a life and grow up, Kids.

We should NOT be judgmental and judge a book by its' cover. It isn't fair, just because I retained once in Sec. 2 and was always seen as a bad student in each and every teachers' eye, this does not mean I'm always one. To err is human, to forgive is divine. Get this in your head people.

X

We're all screwed

2011-01-16T06:30:00.000-08:00

So what if I messed up? Doesn't give you the privilege of being so fucking self-righteous, because you left someone at the exact moment they needed someone to accept their hurt without passing judgment.

I'm not saying you don't have the right to be angry --- you have every right to be. But saying things like "you don't deserve to have anyone to care for you, I don't give a fuck about you" isn't exactly helping my situation. At all.

Goodbye, Ninety five.

Friends...

2011-01-14T06:10:00.000-08:00

Just when I was about to take out a collage of neoprints took together with Xinyi, Zongxian and Gina when we took during Sec1 that I made to take a picture and upload it here, It was missing. Fuck my life.
The pictures... I'd them kept in my drawers in a zip-lock bag and my itchy hands were to blame for taking 'em out and not putting them back in place.

Oh well... I am pissed. What can I do except to ask my maid to look out for it anyway..

Here on earth we try to establish friendship with our fellow human beings, Sometimes we are successful in finding one, sometimes we are not. We do not treasure the times we spent with the friends that we have often, most of us take it for granted. Many of us has friends that we regretted knowing, also we definitely do have friends that are worth spending your time together. Be it a friend that will lead you astray or bring you back on the right path.

For this 3 friends of mine:
(I'm gonna write it out as a whole 'coz I figured it'd be much longer, hahahahaha.)

DEAR FRIENDS,

I hope that you all have already got back together. I'm neither happy nor sad that you guys quarreled.. Because when we quarrel, we don't drift, and in fact we get closer then how we used to. I'm glad you guys made it up! All's good.

Time spent together with y'all during my vacation was worthwhile and memorable. We had good times spent together despite me working during the December holidays. Yea, we kinda spent like new year's eve together and I had to like rush back home to sleep when it was nearing 2am.. O'well, at least we enjoyed.. I'm sure Zongxian enjoyed too because he paid $25 for not counting down right? Also, Gina must be exhilarated to be able countdown at Tekong Park(lol) with Ming Feng and Henry. HAHA. I'm also sure Xinyi enjoying counting down at Johor Bahru with her fellow Jiu Hu Kia(s) and celebrating Malaysia New Year. You guys will be the last that I wish to lose, :)

Now that school has been viciously taking up most of our time, I suppose time spent with you all will gradually decrease... Worst still, not meeting up like how we did during Sec 1s, like almost everyday. We'll be definitely drifting as you guys will be preparing for your upcoming N' level examinations, therefore I wish you all the best and all the luck that I have k! Last but not the least, I would like to thank you all, for being there for me as a friend. Because I know, being my friend isn't easy at all. I appreciate what y'all have done, I love you all, X.

Leaving y'all with this song dedicated to three of you, :)

The show

2011-01-11T03:49:00.001-08:00

Everybody loves a brand new start. Everybody enjoys using the new year as a way to shake off old habits, but how many of you realized that each resolution you make, you break them faster than a teenage boy's premature ejaculation? The new year is nothing short of an excuse to get hammered as fuck, it doesn't hold any more new promises than my future already does.

There is nothing to get all hyped and excited about. So what if the calendar flips from a December to a January, from a 1st to a 31st, from a 2010 to a 2011, it's just another day that passes, another tick from the hands of a clock, another grain of sand from the time of life, it's just another day that the earth rotates, there is nothing special. Resolutions you make won't magically come true.

If I wanted to not procrastinate or change something about myself, I've learnt that it's best I do it the moment I think of it. Instead of waiting for a brand new start because it just makes me lazier pushing off tasks at hand.

2010 was a quick year. Zipping past faster than the last 14 years of life than I could catch. Like any other year, it was fraught with pain and joy. We're now done.